To discuss a prenup, you have to talk about divorce — and no one likes to do that.
Michele Lowrance, coauthor of “The New Love Deal: Everything You Must Know Before Marrying, Moving In, Or Moving On!,” says that our cultural sensitivity around prenups has to do with a reluctance to face the idea of an unhappy ending.
“This belief in the concept of ‘happily ever after’ offers one of the few soft spots remaining in our society, and carries with it much pleasure,” she explains.
That said, most couples planning to get married should have a prenup, particularly those bringing significant assets into their marriage. It’s like insurance: Of course you don’t intend to have an emergency, but it’s the responsible move to plan just in case. Even if you don’t have many assets to divide between the two of you, honest communication about your finances, plans, and values never hurts.
Where to start, though? A discussion about your relationship’s potential demise can be hard to have, and saying, “Honey, I want a prenup,” over dinner on date night seems like a real conversation stopper. Lowrance, who is a divorce court judge and domestic relations mediator, weighed in with some tips to initiate and navigate that tricky conversation.